yine aydinlandi hava bak, ben okula gidicem 3-4 saat sonra. olacak mi?
olmak zorunda!
~
03:39
it would be wrong to ask you why, because i know what goes inside is only half of what comes out.
isn't that what it's about? to remind us we're alive, to remind us we're not blind.
isn't that what it's about? to remind us we're alive, to remind us we're not blind.
dayanamadim, yaziyorum. o kadar cok dinledim ki, inanilmaz!
everything’s so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody’s empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
i cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
i stumble then i crawl
you could be my someone
you could be my sea
you know that i’ll protect you
from all of the obscene
i wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there’s oceans in between us
but that’s not very far
can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
when ya shoved it in my face?
explain again to me.
can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
when ya shoved it in my face?
everyone is changing
there’s no one left that’s real
so make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
'cause i am lost without you
i cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
i stumble then i crawl
you could be my someone
you could be my sea
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
i wonder what you're doing
i wonder where you are
there’s oceans in between us
but that’s not very far
can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
when ya shoved it in my face?
explain again to me.
can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
when ya shoved it in my face?
this pain you gave to me
oh, nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you where to run away
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you where to run away
everything’s so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody’s empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
i cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
i stumble then i crawl
you could be my someone
you could be my sea
you know that i’ll protect you
from all of the obscene
i wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there’s oceans in between us
but that’s not very far
can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
when ya shoved it in my face?
explain again to me.
can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
when ya shoved it in my face?
everyone is changing
there’s no one left that’s real
so make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
'cause i am lost without you
i cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
i stumble then i crawl
you could be my someone
you could be my sea
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
i wonder what you're doing
i wonder where you are
there’s oceans in between us
but that’s not very far
can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
when ya shoved it in my face?
explain again to me.
can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?
when ya shoved it in my face?
this pain you gave to me
oh, nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you where to run away
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you where to run away
~
05:53
hayir demeyi ogrenmeliyim artik. yapmak istemedigim seyleri sirf karsi taraf icin yapmayi birakmaliyim, hele canimi yakanlari. nasil da cana yakindi, konuskandi, iyiydi. ne alacagini ne isteyecegini biliyordu cunku. sarilmalari, opmeleri, gulusleri. "dudaklarina yapissam bana tokat atar misin acaba?" daha once de duymustum bunu, ne aptalim ben. ama bi daha olmamali, asla olmamali. persembe gunu oldu, ve anca bugun normale dondum. cok canim acidi, her zamankinden daha kotuydu bu.
bi de puddle of mudd var, blurry var. delirtti beni sozleri, ezgisi, adamin sesi. zaten cem soyledi cek diye, kotu olabilir miydi? ben de es zamanli olarak mtvde duymustum, oha super diye dusunuyordum. ayni seyleri seviyoruz, begeniyoruz, dusunuyoruz ve hatta hissediyoruz ama sadece "sen cok iyi bir dostsun ve hep oyle kalacaksin"
everything so blurry, everyone so fake. everything is empty, everything is so messed up.
bu yeni sofbenin isigi hic sonmuyor, ve deli ediyor bu beni. gozum takiliyor her geciste, kapiyi kapatip oturmaya basladim onun yuzunden. hava da aydinlanmis, uyumaliyim sanirim.
bi de puddle of mudd var, blurry var. delirtti beni sozleri, ezgisi, adamin sesi. zaten cem soyledi cek diye, kotu olabilir miydi? ben de es zamanli olarak mtvde duymustum, oha super diye dusunuyordum. ayni seyleri seviyoruz, begeniyoruz, dusunuyoruz ve hatta hissediyoruz ama sadece "sen cok iyi bir dostsun ve hep oyle kalacaksin"
everything so blurry, everyone so fake. everything is empty, everything is so messed up.
bu yeni sofbenin isigi hic sonmuyor, ve deli ediyor bu beni. gozum takiliyor her geciste, kapiyi kapatip oturmaya basladim onun yuzunden. hava da aydinlanmis, uyumaliyim sanirim.
tuvalette o kadar uzun sure oturuyorum ki, ciktigimda ayaklarim karincalaniyor. hatta karincalanma otesi, hissetmiyorum bile onlari. sanirim artik tuvalette kitap/dergi okumamaliyim. bolum bitirmeden cikamiyorum bir turlu.
evde bir suru insan olmasindan ve annemin surekli konusmasindan nefret ediyorum. gerekli gereksiz sacmasapanlaflar etmesi beni deli ediyor. SUS ARTIK BE KADIN! evdeki bes ustadan daha fazla ses cikariyor ya, hayret bisey.
- saat kac olmus? oo 2 olmus, bitmedi hala hay allah.
- isik da az mi ne?
- nasil biticek bu kutular, aman of.
- supursem mi naapsam?
sus, sus, sus, sus, sus, sus, sus...
(11.15-internet kablomuz yoktu henuz, kagitlara yazdik.)
- saat kac olmus? oo 2 olmus, bitmedi hala hay allah.
- isik da az mi ne?
- nasil biticek bu kutular, aman of.
- supursem mi naapsam?
sus, sus, sus, sus, sus, sus, sus...
(11.15-internet kablomuz yoktu henuz, kagitlara yazdik.)
'muse konserinden beri cok degistin sen. salmissin iyice kendini.'
hersey boyle basladi, bu cumleyi duydugumdan beri kendimi iyi hissetmiyorum. sacimi bile taramadan evden cikiyorum artik. taktigim tokanin rengi umrumda olmuyor cogu zaman. ya da coraplarimin kiyafetime uygunlugu. hatta elime ne gelirse onu giyiyorum. bir hafta boyunca ayni seyleri giyip dolasiyorum. biseyler yapasim yok. belki de olmam gereken budur?
hersey boyle basladi, bu cumleyi duydugumdan beri kendimi iyi hissetmiyorum. sacimi bile taramadan evden cikiyorum artik. taktigim tokanin rengi umrumda olmuyor cogu zaman. ya da coraplarimin kiyafetime uygunlugu. hatta elime ne gelirse onu giyiyorum. bir hafta boyunca ayni seyleri giyip dolasiyorum. biseyler yapasim yok. belki de olmam gereken budur?
hayatimda ilk defa birseyler bu kadar ugrastim, degerini bilmelisin bence. bugun yolda yururken aklimda bir suru sey vardi yazicak ama nedense birini bile harirlamiyorum su anda. bu yasta boleysek...
Kaydol:
Kayıtlar (Atom)